Frequently Asked Questions

---

Eternal Rest is a relatively new venture, but it has its roots based in Martin's service to the community through providing his presence as a Funeral Celebrant as well as celebrating Baptisms/Christenings and Weddings.  For nearly 25 years, Martin has offered comfort and guidance during times of loss.  Eternal Rest is a natural extension of that work, and a way to help provide as wide a range of personalised Funeral Services as possible while honouring the specific traditions, beliefs and values important to each individual and family. 

Funeral Directors handle all aspects of the funeral, including the choice between burial or cremation, organizing a full funeral service or a direct cremation, and managing all other arrangements including such things as the care of the deceased. They oversee the logistics of the funeral and can offer guidance and support to a family throughout the entire process, ensuring that all arrangements are in place and that the funeral runs smoothly.

A Funeral Celebrant, on the other hand, focuses on the service itself.  This includes preparing the eulogy, selecting readings, poetry, music, helping create the order of service and any other elements that might be part of the Funeral Service. They collaborate with families to assist in crafting a personal and meaningful tribute to the deceased and are focused on the leading of the funeral ceremony.  A celebrant often will provide emotional support to a family, helping them express their grief and celebrate the life of their loved one in a personal and intimate way.

Funeral celebrants can offer a special kind of support to families during challenging times. We seek to help create a meaningful and personal service to honour the life of your loved one. We aim to:

• Bring a sense of celebration: While acknowledging the sadness, celebrants focus on remembering the joy your loved one brought into your lives and the lasting impact they made.
• Plan with compassion: They work closely with you, helping plan every element of the funeral service to ensure it reflects your loved one's personality and wishes.
• Offer guidance and comfort: Celebrants are there to guide you through the entire process, providing emotional support and practical advice every step of the way.
• A final farewell: They lead the service with warmth and respect, creating a space to share memories, say goodbye, and help you on your journey of healing.

A funeral service is typically held with the deceased's body present, while a memorial service is held after the body has been buried or cremated. Both services can include eulogies, music, and other elements of a traditional funeral.

Absolutely. we can help you to create a beautiful and meaningful Christian service that honours your loved one's faith and memory.  Whether you have specific traditions in mind or would like guidance on incorporating Christian elements, we are here to support you at every step. 

Certainly! We embrace diversity and honour the unique beliefs and preferences of each individual and family we serve. A Humanist service is a beautiful way to pay tribute to the life of your loved one with a focus on their values, accomplishments, and the impact they've made on others.  We are here to support you in helping to create a meaningful and personalised service that reflects your loved one's life and legacy.

We cover parts of Derbyshire and South Yorkshire including: Alfreton, Barnsley, Chesterfield, Doncaster, Mansfield, Rotherham and Sheffield.  

We will always seek to visit you in person.  The meeting often takes place in your home or a place where you feel comfortable.  (Sometimes meetings take place at your chosen funeral director's premises.)  

Anyone who you feel was close to your loved one.  It might be that those who might have an active part in the service, for instance if someone has expressed that they would like to help with the eulogy, might benefit from being present.

We understand that this is a difficult time and we want to make the process of arranging a funeral as smooth and stress-free as possible. Our meetings typically take around an hour.  However, we are flexible and will work at a pace comfortable for you and your family. We'll cover all the necessary details without seeking to rush, ensuring you don't feel overwhelmed. 

Yes, you can.   This can be a helpful way to gather your thoughts and ensure we create a service that truly reflects your loved one's life.  Here's a few things that you might like to think about:

• Significant Events: Date of birth, where they were born, marriages, children.
• Where they lived and worked: Different places they might have called home, and their career path.
• Interests, hobbies, and achievements: What brought them joy? What were they proud of?
• Words that describe them: Funny, kind, adventurous?
• Humorous stories or anecdotes: Share memories that make you smile.
• What they'll be remembered for: Their legacy, or those special phrases they'd always say.
• Beliefs: Did they have a religious faith, or a particular philosophy on life?

Please note: There's no pressure to have everything perfectly organised. Your memories and the love you carry for them are the most important elements. 

Yes, absolutely!  Personalising a funeral with music, hymns, readings, poems and/or prayers can be a beautiful way to honour your loved one and bring comfort during this time.

• Readings: Poems, passages from books, or personal reflections are all meaningful options.
• Hymns: Traditional or favourite hymns, reflecting your loved one's faith, can bring solace and comfort.
• Music: Consider pieces that were special to your loved one; anything from classical to pop music can be incorporated.
• Prayers: If your loved one had a religious faith, prayers can provide comfort and meaning. They can also be non-religious, focusing on peace and remembrance.

The eulogy is a personalised and heartfelt tribute, often written and delivered by someone close to the person who has passed away.  Here are some common options:

• Family Member: Often, a spouse, child, sibling, or another close relative writes the eulogy with the help of other close family/friends.  This can offer a deeply personal perspective on your loved one's life.
• Close Friend: A best friend or lifelong companion might offer unique insights and be able to include some of your cherished memories.
• Funeral Celebrant: We can work with you to gather stories and help create a eulogy we can deliver on your behalf.  (Alternatively, and often quite a fitting tribute, we can read the eulogy that you have written on your behalf.  This enables you the ability to include your thoughts in a specific way but takes some of the pressure off having to speak on the day of the Funeral Service.)
• Collaborative Effort: Sometimes, multiple people may contribute to writing the eulogy, sharing anecdotes and perspectives to create a richer tribute.  (As above a family member, friend, or the celebrant can deliver this on the day.)

Please remember that there is no right or wrong answer.  The most important thing is choosing someone who feels able to honour your loved one with words that come from the heart.  You should not feel pressured to decide immediately – ultimately it is what feels right for your family.  

If we were to give any advice it would be that we would encourage putting down on paper any Eulogy as this ensures that if something unforeseen occurs shortly before the service then the tribute can still be made without worry.

Yes. Photographs (and photographic tributes) are a beautiful way to celebrate your loved one's life, share cherished memories and to focus our thoughts during the Funeral Service. 

You might like to consider:

• Choosing Photos: Gather a selection of photographs that reflect different moments in your loved one's life – childhood, special occasions, everyday moments, or even just photos that capture their personality and values.
• Photographic Tribute: Once you have your chosen photographs (this can vary from 25-30) these can be given to your chosen Funeral Director.  These can be played, for instance, with your choice of music, during the service.
• Display: If you prefer, you could also have a display of individual photos or a memorial board for people to view throughout the service and then during any reception afterwards.

We'll work with you to incorporate your photos in a way that feels meaningful to you.

Yes, you can certainly have an Order of Service. It's a helpful way to guide mourners through the funeral service and provide a meaningful keepsake, especially if there are those who would like to attend but cannot be present for whatever reason. 

What it includes: An "Order of Service" often outlines the sequence of the service, including any music, readings, poems, prayers and any tributes.  It can also include photos and any special messages you might wish to add.

It's your choice: An Order of Service is optional but many families find it comforting. With your chosen Funeral Director we can assist you with this.  Often the Funeral Directors will help with printing or you can create your own if you prefer.

We are here to support you with whatever feels right for your loved one's service. 

Yes, you can. Asking those who are looking to attend to wear a specific colour can be a beautiful way to honour your loved one and helps to create a sense of unity during the funeral service.  In turn we will aim to incorporate your choices in what we might wear on the day.

With you chosen Funeral Director, we will be there to guide you through each step, ensuring everything runs smoothly and with the utmost respect for your loved one. 

We will aim arrive  1/2 hour before the start of the service.  We will often gather at the front of the chapel/crematorium and the service will take place as already agreed with you before-hand.  

After the service we'll remain close by, along with your chosen Funeral Director, in case there's anything you'd like to ask.

We understand that this is a difficult time, and we want to make reaching out as simple as possible.  As you are already here the simplest way is to click here and get in touch.  We regularly check our messages and will get back to you at our earliest availability.

Planning a funeral can at times feel overwhelming, and it's easy for details or special wishes to slip from our minds.  If there's a question you have that is not addressed here, or something specific that you'd like to ask, please do not hesitate to reach out to us using the form provided.   Your questions might help someone else find a quick answer to something that might be on their minds!